what to say...every thing is looking up!! XD

so..whats new..
im at tafe again, this time i came on my own to help out, so thats heaps cool..
anyways..so the girls got to learn abit about anger and asprations and so on to day, it was trippy cause i remember when i first learn this stuff,and its trippy to being in the same room with diffrent girls with the same teacher and all that but yeaa..

anyways the girls are ment to write sum thing about what they learnt in class so im ganna do the same :)

so Anger

just thinking about the word, i bet u all can think of sum thing that makes you angry, even me at the moment i am having a couple of things popping into my head, its odd, how every day people make them self aganry they might not mean to, or they keep going over or over sum thing in there heads, sumtimes we try and make our self's angry, we dont mean to but thats just the way it is..
but the really scary thing is how we let it out, we sum times let it out by, forms of art, eg, music art.. we let it out with a bang sometimes, we yell at someone we dont mean too, some one close to us,
we some times become vilonet, sometimes to the people we would never thing that we would hurt in anyways al all..and sometimes we are too scared to let people knows whats going on, so we become like a titcking time bomb, and we just let it out by going to extram's, and we lose who we are and then become like, this thing oof just hurt pain and hate..
and sometimes we just take it out on ur self, we feel like we dont wont to bother people by letting them into our heards,and as odd as it sounds things like cutting start to feel good, it helps in an odd way, and the hole thing about drugs u thought you would never do, they become like ur best friend, that one more time the next time, we do them drugs to feel good, and to get away from all the anger, cause the anger we feel boils up and we let it out on someone then that anger becomes hurt, and then u cant let that out so thats the circle that goes around, and thats the said thing that happins....




anyways now for sumthing good..
i got my L's its about time too, i got it yesterday..and im going for my first driving lession today!!
my life is so good, ive got a school basied tranie ship, i allso have the best boyfriend, he is heaps cool, he all so has a tranie ship, that goes for 4yrs and the funni thing is that i get paid more money then him..lol
anyways..life is good, im loving life, i dont do drugs any more, and nor to i wont to, im quittin smoking, ive stoped drinking all the time, ive stoped being hard pon my slef and just having fun with life, and osince ive stoped being hard on miy self, and started to have fun with life again with out the drinking and drugs ive started to lose a lil bit of wight, so im so happy about that...and thats making me wont to get out and do more and feel better, its like im in a never ending good cycle..im so happy!!!
every thing is working good for me, its all good, its fun.,.and when im with my guy, he allways makes things seems fun and new, and he makes things good, cause i get he's just a fun person to be with, and he's fun cause he is sum one that i can joke with, and he can take it just as good as he gives it, nothing is boring when he is around..love ya babe xx
so i know a month isnt that long, but c'mon life is only lived onece, so me and my guy been talking about kids, its kinda scary but funni, it all most made me for a second not wont to ever again do anything with him, but it was okay, cause we both said we wont kidss, but not for another 3/years, but the funni thing is the age diffrents, he's 19 and im 16..going on 17, but its funni cause i said i might not have kids till i was maybe like 24 and he just went ohh, plz before then ill be a grandpa by age 27..lol
but its cool, i told him if we still togeather then i might have kids around the age 19/20 so he'll still be young enuff for kids and have a bit of life, and ill have some life, but i dont know..but yea..hey who knows yet, all i know is that i dont wont kids yet..
but i love my guy, he's sweet,and makes me lol, and that anyways i gotta go cya <3

god sent me two angels from the heavens above

well its now 2008, to tell you the truth, im glad 2007 is over, and done with.
2007 was a bad year for me, i did alot of things i wish i hadn't done, and things i said i would never do, but i did, this year, im ganna do more of wont i wont, have more of an voice about what i wont, im not going to do some thing just cause every one else is.
im going to find some where i for real fit in, and not have to be in a room full of people and feel like im alown, im ganna find that somewhere and not f**k it up any more, god knows how many times i did that in 2007, im going to go were my heart and feet take me, im going to learn alot this year, i can telll

well next week my learning starts, im going to a youth conference, in brisssy, so that's going to be alright,(fingers cross) i went last year and it help a bit so here's hoping the same for this year,one of my really good mates(there like a angel in disguise) i was lookin forwared to coming isnt, and thats kinda really sucks, cause he's one of them mates that o can say any thing to, he's seen me when im sick, he's seen me drunk, he's seen my good and bad sides and yet, hes still there for me, man i love that boy(as a friends) but i shouldnt call him a boy he's 18 turning 19. but yea.

and its the same with one of my other mates, she's the only one i can really open up to, cause she knows where ive been and how i feel, and she knows how hard life can be, with some things over ur head, and what its like to wont to hide and have a brick wall up and not wont to let any one in, and its going to suck that the two people i wont to be there with me(there my two angels god sent me) wont be there, and im afraide that i wont get the most of this confrence with out them, cause my wall will be up and there the only two i let it down around, but hey you get that!!!!


so to some good news, i pasted my year10 this year, so that was good and a week into my holes i get a phone call about a job intrevew i went to, for a tranie ship and i got it, so i have to stay at skool, so thats okay i think i can handle school for 2more years, and what ever the big bad world has for me can just wait 2more years wile i get my year12 and my tranieship down and done, im glad ive got it now, its good, its going to help me get out of armidale someday, i know it.
anyways gotta go cya